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Repulsion

with text extracted from a message to a friend

 

now it’s my turn to confide in you about       dreams

 

last night   I was introduced         as   girlfriend

and everyone was talking over me     it has     affected

my day   I    feel off          knowing     romance

makes      people happy but             makes me   

 

the other night        there were moments

where I felt    uncomfortable     and     guilty     since she

was not doing anything wrong

 

I’m     coming to terms with how strong that reaction can be

 

I                                              protect myself from          harmful

interactions

 

I      experience repulsion rather than attraction

 

now I feel okay      it might never go away     it is there to help me

 

survive