Titular motifs repeated across the notebook
of love, rebellion and truth
but no word on my desire

When she suckled the breasts
six years old
she could taste the sweetness she said
at the age of eighteen

I passed semen in my underpants
on a chilling October morning
with a dream of her merging into Audrey Hepburn
androgynous, mongoloid, feminine

Celibate meditation on body
dissolved that morning
and I returned the book on Sylvia Plath to the library

-x-

She got wet looking at a handsome man
took a man from behind and in the mouth
but couldn't let him enter

She got wet looking at a handsome man
but couldn't let the ugly one enter

When asked,
she talked of Mills & Boons
and erotic literature
but claimed to be asexual

She got wet looking at a handsome man
kissed and groped a woman
but couldn’t let an object enter