I get to choose whether I want something to happen, how much, when, who is doing it, and, most importantly, I get to choose when to stop.
All in Personal
Aro-Ace Desire
There’s also the issues of fucked up desirability politics and racism. I enjoy fetishes, but to be fetishized is to be dehumanized.
We Are Whole
Thanks to discovering asexuality, I see “no” as whole because we are whole.
asexual education is important because:
I didn’t know there was a word for people like me, so I never looked for one.
Thanks for the Invalidation
Where my identity as an asexual is seen as a choice hastily made, as if I only need a little persuasion, as if I just one day decided to stop being sexually attracted to others.
On Running and Asexual Embodiment
Before I could name it, I felt my asexuality as truly as my feet felt every step of a run. I now claim it as fully as I claim my body.
Seven of Wands
This card is my life. I am always engaged in combat.
Finding Identity
But for now, I’m holding on. Because there’s nothing wrong with me. And there never was.
A
And there is a label for people like me: asexuality. But how do I condense myself into the ‘a’ in ‘asexuality’? That ‘a’ means ‘not.’ That ‘a’ means ‘lacking.’
The Tightrope
Coming to terms with being aromantic asexual offered an opportunity to pursue what I wanted for myself. To reject the premise that my existence is centered on my appeal to men.
TOUCH
To have every cuddle, every kiss, every hug, just be seen as a path to sex - I didn’t want that.
Figuring it Out
You think everyone’s just faking it because that’s what’s cool, but you still don’t get why it’s cool.
Bitters
We market bitterness as a marker of adulthood (…) Set aside such childish things as sweetness and grow up.
Once Upon A Time
Once upon a time, the girl met another asexual. “Holy shit,” she said, “This has never happened to me before. It’s like meeting a unicorn!”
Since My Experiences Do Not Fit In Your Boxes
I can organize my relationships by asking myself how emotionally close and how interdependent I would like to be with a person.
Repulsed
This box was getting smaller by the second. Where did all the air go?
The Real Problem
“Oh and Clara, when are you going to get a boyfriend?" She said it like boyfriends were fruits which could be plucked from trees or ornaments necessary to authorize membership in the “normal teenage girls” club.
The Right Person Yet
You’ve always felt like the odd one out, never fast enough at catching the innuendos, convinced your friends’ outbursts were mere exaggerations.
Dear Caduceus Clay, I hope you're ace
Hope is a hill your dreams die on when you're wrong.
Untangling these feelings
But, for me, physical comfort never meant sex.